i have loved you for so long... since we were in elementary. surprised? i bet you are. nobody knew about this. this is my little secret. it has been a secret until now. i decided to tell you coz it will help to make you understand why i am doing everything i can to have you.
but it seems like i am losing you... AGAIN. the thing that hurts me most about this is not because you are not making an effort, but because it seems like you are taking me for granted. not only me but my feelings for you.
i no longer know how to make peace with my mind... it's telling me to let you go. that i have lost the battle. that no matter how i try, the decision to stay or go is in your hands. that i do not have the power to make you change your mind once you decided to move on.
i am at a crossroad where i have to make a very hard decision.
will i let you go and have a certain peace of mind?
or should i fight for what we used to have but suffer during the process?
then a thought came, will i be able to live with myself if i let you go? maybe.
i have never thought before that it is possible for me to let you go. that it would be best to just move on with my life without you.
this is the dilemma i am experiencing right now. i have to decide what to do.
am i strong enough to let you go?
i do not have the vaguest idea if or when you will be able to read this. and i also know that being the sensitive man that you are, some of what i have said here might hurt you. but i am just trying to clear this off my chest coz i am going crazy living day after day and pretending that everything's okay. i am not okay. i am hurting and i want answers from you.
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