i am at peace.

not because everything seems to be uncertain but because i find certain truths behind the mask of despair.

one thing is for sure. he loves me. inspite and despite of everything, i know that he loves. no one can ever question that.

he is selfish, i know that. and as i have told him, i knew and i accepted that. i love him because. love simply is.

i still believe in us. call me crazy, but i still believe that he will come back. there's no one else aside from me. he's doing this because he needs to make things right for himself and i know he will make it through. there's not a moment that i ever doubted him.

maybe i am crazy. crazy about him. but the thing is, if you're in my place and you've found someone who can make you feel nuts in one moment and feel so loved and cherished the next, wouldn't you fight for it? wouldn't you fight for someone you've loved for all your life?

i know i would.

but this time, fighting means to hold back. Loving someone from a distance is never easy but who ever said love is a walk in the park?

after all this time, i have learned that love is a struggle. that you have to fight for the one you love because fate intercedes every once in a while and thows stones along your way.

i am not giving up. i have made this promise a long time ago.

i knew what i will go through. i know it is not going to be easy.

but i will never give up on love. i will never give him up.

he's the one i want. and i want him so bad.

and i believe in this: if you want something so bad, everything in the universe will conspire to make that happen.

i love him and i don't care. i love him because. love simply is.

it's a good thing that none of my friends know about this page.

i think they would have a field day if they get to read what i've been writing here. they are not used to the fact that i am this sensitive and weak.

they have a very different opinion of who i am, what i am and what i want to be.

not that i am a completely different person in their eyes or that i pretend to be someone i'm not.

it's not like that at all. it's just that, for them, i am this hyperactive woman errr... girl who refuses to grow up. for them, i am forever a baby who does not think much of the future. i think they think i dont even know the word responsibility. hahahahaha

oh well...