confessions of a lost soul

i hate not knowing what to do.

right now, they're pressuring us to make a major step that i'm not yet ready to do.

you see, the thing is, i'm really not the party going kinda chick. i may look like it, but i'm not. i love love love the simple life that provinces offer. i love looking at the sunset and being with the ocean. i am at peace here.

i don't wanna go. i didn't do it for him when it could've saved what we had back then.

it's so hard to make a decision.

i don't want the thought that i can only come back here for a short period of time. and that would be what, once or twice a year?

i promised myself that i will not live a life that revolves around work. no. career is a bouncing ball. just like what suzanne said ih her dairy for nicholas.

but somehow, i want something to change. i still don't know what it is, but i want change. yes, this is because of what happened between us. and yes, i am still very much affected by what he did.

so what am i gonna do?

que sera sera?